FIVE NIGHTS ABOAD THE QE2 ON A 2001 CROSSING

A funny summary made by Celeste McCall about her Atlantic Crossing a few years ago:

The QE2 employs 105 kitchen workers, representing 15 to 20 nationalities.

For safety reasons, all are required to speak English.

The ship's five restaurants have 178 waiters/waitresses.

On a typical day, the galley uses 2,560 tea bags, 115 pounds of coffee, 230 gallons of milk, 481 pounds of butter, 90 gallons of ice cream, 97 pounds of mayonnaise and 241 pounds of bananas.

Between New York and Southampton, the QE2's five restaurants crack 50,000 eggs.

Getting more upscale: on a typical crossing, sommeliers pop 1,000 bottles of champagne and waiters dish out 420 pounds of smoked salmon, 580 pounds of lobster and 75 pounds of caviar.

In fact, QE2 is the world's largest consumer of the pricy little fish eggs, and I did my share to uphold that honor.

Each day, bartenders use 2,610 cocktail stirrers, 960 toothpicks, 3,540 paper napkins and 7,850 paper doilies.

And consider this: in 5 days, passengers go through 2,700 rolls of toilet paper.